Collage Essay - Number 3

38. If you could go back and change one day in your life, what would you change and why? (Santa Clara University)

                   I have wished for this to happen for a very long time, which is to change a day of my life that I spent with friends with my family. People say that time helps heal emotional wounds, which is true in some way but this guilt I feel has not subsided since that day. It has stayed the same for two years. Who knows it might change one day but for now it stays the same.

                  That day was the day when all, I mean ALL, of my friends were supposed to meet up and go to this rock show in Sikkim (my home). I was really excited by this news and I wanted some time off from my studies. So, my friends and me had decided to meet up at 12:00 pm and go for the show at 4:00 pm. I was really looking forward to it and both my mom and dad had said I could go for it. I was so happy; I was bouncing around everywhere!!! Of course with my luck something had to go wrong. First, it looked extremely cloudy. Second, I had to get into a fight with my sister about a stupid reason. This made my sister decide for ME that I was not allowed to go for the show. Of course me being me, I was became stubborn and refused to listen to all her reason for forcing me to stay back. One of the reasons was that Apa (Dad) was becoming sicker and today was worse. I thought that she was saying that just to make me fell guilty and not let me have fun. Ohh… how I wish I had listened to her. I ignored her and went outside with my friends. I complained to them about how evil my sister was acting and how much I hated her, ohh the irony because I lover her now, of course they agreed with me, which made me feel better.

                      I was with my friends that day but it was my body that was with them, my mind was more concerned about how much trouble I was in with my sister, let me tell you that I am terrified of her, and what she had said to me about Apa. I kept trying to convince myself that she was lying to me so that she could make me stay back. It took me a lot of convening form my friends and myself to go for that show. Time passed really slowly, I tried distracting myself by talking to people, going to shops or eating. When the time finally came for the show to start, I was really let down. I did not have fun at all. First, the bands were not good. Second, I did not know a single song they played. Third, I was really out of it because all my energy was spent on me trying to do something to keep my mind off my problems.  When all of this added together, I was just very disappointed and decided to return home.

                      The shock I got when I returned was something I was not prepared for. All my family members had decided to come for a visit. There was so much noise, every one was having fun and catching up with each other. I joined them but was careful to avoid my sister. With my luck that was not going to be possible and as soon as I entered my room, I met her. She gave me the dirtiest look every. I was really scared so I didn't say anything and just changed quietly. She ignored me and I went out the room as soon as possible. My anger, anxiousness, all these bad feelings went away as I spent more and more time with my family. I had never seen so many family members come together in so many years. I was really nice they were all there. But no matter how happy you are, it has to end at some point and that point was when Apa suddenly became really sick. Everyone panicked, I was really numb and was feeling really helpless as to what to do. I felt so useless because all I could do was watch my father being taken inside an ambulance. He was admitted to the hospital and was kept inside the ICU. I stayed back home with my sister.  And the first thing she had to say to me was, “I hope you regret this day for the rest of your life.” Hope she is happy now because I have been regretting for two years for the choices I could have made.

                      That is the one day in my entire life I would change without any hesitation. The reason is because, that was the last day that my dad was able to speak to all of us. If only I had stayed back instead of leaving my house with my friends. I would have been able to be with my dad for a little bit longer and have talked to him. This is why I would not hesitate to change this day of my life.

(890-words)